I was in a very dark place at the end of our time at the Belmont house. This continued in Sanger. I was still barely aware of what was happening around me. The healing period took several years. I was still in a problematic place spiritually in that I felt that Heavenly Father had permanently rejected me. I continued attending church because I knew that if I quit, it would also affect my family’s future attendance. But I did not believe that I was capable of receiving salvation when this life was over.

While living in Sanger, we rented a home on a 5-acre lot on McCall Avenue. The landlord also kept a horse named Poky there. Poky had been left in the pasture because she was not considered trainable for riding. We didn’t know enough to think otherwise. Poky became a part of our lives, but we knew nothing about horses.

We turned the remaining 4 1/2 acres of pasture over to our sons to care for and rent out to local farmers who needed extra space for their cattle. The rent money was the kids’, but so was the irrigation job. Suddenly, we had 40 cows and a bull. We are city folks who know nothing about cows, and there is no “Cows for Dummies” book. We used to watch, hoping nothing would go wrong, while the calves were born.

Our sons invented a game while we lived here. We would watch the pasture from a grassy porch area just outside the back of the house. While watching, one of the boys would make his best “moo”, and then get a point for each moo that came back. The one with the most moos wins. Things can be kinda slow out in the country.

Our dog, Sarah, used to hide in the grass and wait for the bull. She would jump out and startle him, then run when he chased her. She liked to live life on the edge.

Predictably, the cattle eventually forced a break in the fence and got out, heading straight down the roadside of McCall Avenue. We didn’t know what to do. Luckily, our neighbor, Guy, considered it his job to help us succeed at country living. He told the boys to go to the lead cow, grab her by the ear, and use it to turn her around back toward home. He promised that once the lead cow changed course, the rest would follow. It actually worked! However, because there was a break in the fence that the property owner refused to repair—and we certainly couldn’t afford to replace the entire fence as the landlord expected—we had to discontinue our pasture rental.

Money was incredibly tight during this period. Still, Kathy and I honored our date-night tradition on Fridays. Since there was no money for going out, we brought the date to us. We cooked a special dinner and a treat, then sequestered ourselves in the master bedroom to eat while watching movies on our TV. The kids were strictly instructed that they were not to disturb us unless the house was burning down. If anyone called the house for us, the kids told them we were “out at the movies.”

We lived in Sanger for four years. Our credit rating steadily improved, enabling us to qualify for a home loan. When we decided to move out, our landlord took advantage of us. He refused to accept our efforts to clean, charging us for professional cleaning, tree trimming, and the full cost of replacing a four-year-old carpet. We ended up with more than $3,000 in charges when we moved out. But we knew it was time to find a place that would truly be ours.