In 2005, we decided it was time to buy a house again. As previously mentioned, our former home in Fresno had been foreclosed several years earlier during a transitional period when I left the workforce and Kathy became the primary provider. We had been renting for four years. During our search, we viewed numerous homes and made offers on five, but it was a competitive seller's market, and we were unable to secure an accepted offer.
Jim Christiansen, a close friend from church, came to our rescue by offering to sell us one of his rental homes. When Jim took us on a tour, we were shocked to find that the property had been severely damaged by his current tenant. Jim was just as taken aback as we were. Every door and many walls had holes, the carpets had been ripped up and placed on the backyard lawn, and the interior floors exposed the subfloor beneath. The kitchen appliances were no longer functional. Although the house was located in a neighborhood we considered less desirable, it was safe. Kathy cried all night, distressed at the thought that this was all we could afford. Then, Jim offered to have his handyman and contractor assess the property and make it habitable before we moved in. We agreed on a price, and he arranged for the contractor to repair everything to a comfortable living standard. He updated the kitchen and transformed the layout to create an "open concept" space connecting the kitchen, dining room, and family room. It took about three months to prepare the house for us. To help us afford it, he used "builder-grade" materials, which kept the home within our financial reach. (In the following twenty years, we upgraded as repairs and replacements became necessary.) We completed the purchase, and he even financed it for us. We moved in during Kerman Unified's winter break. We are forever grateful for Jim's kindness.
Unfortunately, a significant real estate crash occurred a year after our purchase, causing our home to lose half of its value. Over the next 15 years, we gradually saw the property's worth return to what we initially paid. However, value is only relevant if you decide to sell. Kathy had already declared that she would only leave this house after she dies, having reached her lifetime limit on moves. Some years later, she considered house hunting again but discovered that she would be happiest right where she was planted.
We had moved into the Gettysburg Ward. I was still in the later stages of recovery from my bipolar episode. Shortly after this move, the medical team developed a treatment plan that brought emotional stability within my reach. Jeannie Dehmel was also in the new ward. Kathy knew Jeannie from her work at Freedom Elementary, where Jeannie had been assisting her granddaughter. As a result, Kathy and Jeannie became close friends. At this time, Kathy was struggling spiritually, as the many challenging experiences of the past few years had taken a toll on her.
Since Clovis Unified did not promote Kathy to the position of principal, she began applying for openings outside of CUSD. She successfully advanced to superintendent-level interviews multiple times, with two of those interviews resulting in job offers on the same day—one from Fresno Unified and the other from Kerman Unified. After careful consideration, she chose to accept the position at Kerman and became the principal of Kerman-Floyd Elementary. Kathy led Kerman-Floyd for the next 12 years. More information about Kerman-Floyd can be found on the following dropdown page.
At the time of our move, the Gettysburg Ward was led by Bishop Lloyd Evenson, who had been serving for nearly seven years. I was assigned as the home teacher to the Evenson family, and we enjoyed getting to know them well. On one occasion, Bishop Evenson mentioned that he was experiencing a stomachache. He had a doctor's appointment and requested a priesthood blessing before the visit. During the blessing, I blessed him that his issue would turn out to be minor and that he would recover quickly. Unfortunately, the doctor diagnosed him with stage four pancreatic cancer. Bishop Evenson's health deteriorated rapidly, and he passed away a few weeks later. This left me with significant concerns about the blessing I had given. For years, I refrained from giving blessings as I grappled with this experience. I wrestled with profound questions about my ability to connect with God. I eventually realized that I had given Bishop Evenson the blessing I desired for him, rather than the blessing that was meant to come from the Lord. I learned that giving a blessing is a declaration of the Lord's will, not a command from me. Now, I consciously avoid pre-formulating my thoughts so that when I lay my hands on the individual, my mind is clear to receive revelation. I understand that everyone has their own method that works for them, but I now strive to reach out and "hear" the Lord's will in my mind. Over the years, I have learned to approach the Lord in prayer quietly, asking for revelation that will assist the person receiving the priesthood blessing.
Bishop Dehmel was called to replace Bishop Evenson. He was the ideal leader to support Kathy through her spiritual crisis, which stemmed from the numerous challenges of the past few years. He took the time to converse with her regularly, helping her recognize her strengths and inherent value. He and his wife, Jeannie, became close friends with Kathy. About two years after joining our Gettysburg Ward, Kathy was called to serve as the ward chorister, a position she held for 13 years. A few years later, Bishop Dehmel felt a strong prompting that Jeannie should become the Young Women’s president. Jeannie agreed to serve on the condition that Kathy and Hortencia Rodríguez would be her counselors. They were exceptional leaders who guided several girls through challenging personal and family situations. Eventually, Kathy reached a point of overload as the combined demands of school leadership and the Young Women’s program became more than she could manage. She was released from her calling and began teaching the youth group in Sunday School. Teaching Sunday School did not involve the additional activities associated with Young Women, which was ideal for Kathy, as it allowed her to focus solely on teaching the youth. She cherished the experience and remained in that role for eight years, feeling very disappointed when she was later called to a different assignment.
The doctors developed a medical regimen that provided significant stability for me. For the first time in many years, I was able to manage the emotional highs and lows associated with bipolar disorder. Although these fluctuations still occur today, they are less severe, allowing me to navigate through them more effectively. I typically recognize the symptoms and take a "time out" until I feel emotionally centered again. After a year of stability, I decided to re-enter the workforce. I was hired as a part-time accountant for a small construction company. I performed well there, and the position eventually transitioned to full-time. Unfortunately, the company struggled to secure enough work to remain operational. I once went three weeks without a paycheck, which led me to make the difficult decision to resign. I applied for unemployment benefits to support myself until I found a new job. A few weeks later, the Employment Development Department (EDD) challenged my benefits and threatened to require repayment. I presented my case, but they insisted on a hearing with my former employer. As the hearing began, my former boss inquired about the purpose of our meeting. When informed that they were questioning my eligibility for benefits, he stated, "I don't. He deserves those benefits." The worker then halted the proceedings and closed the case. I truly appreciated his support.
I applied for numerous positions through various recruiters. Robert Half reached out to me regarding a controller position at a construction firm in Tulare, located 55 miles from my home. The previous accountant had left a significant mess and was months behind in her work. She was terminated the day before I started, and I never had the opportunity to meet her. Consequently, I had to create my own job description. I began as a temporary employee, and after six months, I was offered a full-time position. The role was a good fit, and the company's accounting issues gradually diminished as I identified and resolved problems. One particularly frustrating day at work, everything seemed to go wrong. By the end of the day, I needed to print a termination check for an employee. I attempted this several times, but each attempt encountered an issue. Eventually, I was down to my last signed check (the owners were out of town), which printed incorrectly. In a moment of frustration, I uttered a single swear word aloud—the only profanity they had ever heard from me. The staff in the office rushed in to find out what had gone so wrong, knowing that if I swore, it must have been serious.
Eventually, the accounting software company decided to discontinue the product and its support. I was appointed as the project manager for the installation of a new accounting system, in addition to my role as Controller. We selected a system that was highly recommended and well-suited to our company’s needs. Since the setup of the new system coincided with my daily responsibilities, it took nine months to become fully operational. I managed my daily tasks, and after everyone went home, I dedicated time to the new accounting system, sometimes working on it from home, even at 2 AM. The new system was significantly different from its predecessor. While it provided the same information—sometimes even more—the method of accessing that information was different. Unfortunately, a key employee, who had the owners' trust, could only see that the system was different. It didn’t matter to her that the system delivered all the same answers; she was frustrated by the change in how she obtained those answers. She began to sway the owners against the system, leading them to adopt a negative perspective on the work I was doing. They even threatened to withhold payment for the new software. She had poisoned the environment for me, and I wanted out. Once I had the new system running smoothly, I announced my retirement.
I observed this company transition to a second generation of ownership. The founder had established a highly successful construction firm and recognized that his employees were vital to his success, treating them accordingly. Wages and benefits were among the best in the industry. When he was ready to retire, he sold the company to his daughter. However, she and her husband prioritized the lifestyle the company could afford them, viewing employees as a cost that constrained their ambitions. They began to cut benefits and compensation while imposing greater demands on the workforce. As a result, the most talented employees left for competitors, leaving behind those who were less skilled. Profitability declined. The daughter then claimed that her father had overvalued the company, as the profits were lower than expected. She approached him, demanding a new contract based on a reduced purchase price. The father confided in me that he was heartbroken by the treatment he received.
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I became Kathy’s house husband. I did laundry, cooked meals, and cleaned up. Cooking was a challenge because I had never really cooked before, but I did learn. I enjoyed this new role. I did this for four years until Kathy decided to retire.
Our two dachshunds passed within a few months of each other. “Scooter” and “Sadie” joined the family shortly after. Scooter is always on guard duty and tells us when anything approaches the house. Sadie is the family lover dog and diva. Carmen was in her last months when Sadie came. Carmen was deaf and blind. She was depressed after her brother passed and mostly just sat around and slept. Sadie made it her goal to get Carmen to play. She gave Carmen attention several times daily. And Carmen finally started playing after a few weeks. Sadie is our feel-good dog. And Carmen spent her last few months with a new friend.
On our 42nd anniversary, we were having dinner at Black Angus when Kathy held up her water glass and said, “Here’s to another 42 years.” I quickly calculated how old I would be in 42 years and answered, “I hope not.” The mood of the evening was squashed. I now remind myself not to overthink before opening my mouth.
We once had our house broken into while we were still sleeping. All of our computers were stolen. This included several thousand family pictures that were stored on my computer. I have since started scanning all those pictures again. But our storage is now duplicated in a digital cloud account. We began a security system on the house to help prevent a recurrence. The alarm system steadily evolved to include automation and cameras. I then began adding Alexa Echo devices that began a movement towards a smart home. I was in heaven while learning these new skills. And I enjoy it when the sprinkler system sends me a message that it isn't going to water today because of expected rain. Lights come on and go off on schedule. Kathy can tell Alexa to announce that dinner is ready. Brianna especially likes this duty.
I was called to serve as Bishop Dehmel’s executive secretary. I think I was able to help him, but also, the calling helped me spiritually and emotionally. I was still hung up, believing I had been rejected by the Lord and could never serve as a leader or even receive salvation. My success as executive secretary proved that I could serve. While commuting to Tulare, I listened to recordings of the semi-annual general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One day, while commuting and listening to a general conference, I felt overwhelmingly that God loved me and that there was room in His house for me. This was life-changing. Afterward, my gospel studies differed, and I allowed myself to develop a closer relationship with the Savior and our Heavenly Father. My demeanor totally changed after this experience. I mistakenly did not write this experience down. In time its details dimmed and I began to forget how much the Lord loves me. I had another experience several years later that reminded me I am loved. More about that later. The second experience was immediately written down.
Bishop Dehmel was released after seven years of service, with Bishop Malcolm replacing him. Our ward boundaries were also changed, bringing in many new ward members and sending some friends to another ward. One of the difficulties of the old boundaries was that the church membership in the ward had declined sharply. Many of those who remained were older and had limitations in how much they could serve. Our Sunday attendance dwindled to about 65. Our ward could not function with this few committed members. In the reconstructed ward, Bishop Malcolm asked me to serve as his executive secretary. The dynamics of the new ward with so many new members required me to really step up my game as an executive secretary. I grew more in this new role. And Bishop Malcolm and I became close friends.
In spring 2018, President Witt, our stake president, approached Kathy and me and asked us if we could be available for a service mission in the employment center. Because of my bipolar disorder, we knew that a full-time mission probably couldn’t happen. But a service mission with me close to home and doctors was ideal. We were called to serve in Development Counseling Services, providing support for individuals with barriers to obtaining and keeping employment. Our task was to determine abilities, assess skills, and find a match in the job market. We even had a budget to provide some training for the new career. The tools we had were excellent and really helped us find a new direction for each client. We worked with people who had life changes, mental illnesses, and even past prison experiences to overcome. Several times it was a homemaker abandoned by her husband. Once it was a construction worker who became wheelchair-bound and needed a new career direction. Because of the many past difficulties Kathy and I had been through, we had the ability to meet each client on their own level. We could tell them their future would be OK because we had overcome the same hurdles. Because I had formerly been a boss, and Kathy had formerly been a boss, we were concerned about who would be the real boss on our mission. We discovered that we didn’t need a boss. We became "Team Goodlad", each with a different skill set, and we could coordinate together to find what was best for the client. We were a united team. We were successful. The mission caused the already great relationship between Kathy and me to grow enormously. Let's tell one client's story. He had very low self-esteem. One assessment tool suggested he would be a great truck driver. He was really excited at this prospect. We sent him out to sort through the existing trucking schools and pick the best one for him. He came back with a choice. The tuition cost was within our budget from the Church. He started school. We watched his face light up with a confidence he had never known. He became a full-time driver and provided comfortably for his family. We loved watching his success. We wanted to serve for two years, but after a year and a half, COVID happened and our circumstances changed. We had some financial setbacks that required me to start working part-time. And Aaron and his three kids moved into our home. Kathy was in charge as his kids attended school from our home. We simply couldn't manage the employment center anymore.
When I was looking for a part-time job, while sitting outside Bishop Malcolm’s office with Dave Farley, his first counselor, I mentioned to him that I was looking for a part-time position in accounting. He asked me to send him my resume. He said his son is a partner with a CPA firm, and he might find a connection for me. Within a few days, I was put in touch with Guillermo Moreno at Senior Citizens’ Village. I became an accountant for them. Their charter required monthly CPA-reviewed financial statements. I had to provide all the documentation to support the accuracy of the monthly statements. I was there for two years and had a wonderful experience with this non-profit. The demand for reviewed financial statements brought a new level of professionalism to me. I also see the Village as a role model for a non-profit. Their focus was always to provide low-cost housing to seniors. They watched spending carefully because everything we spent administratively would result in higher rent for the seniors.
I was once assigned a new person at church to home-teach. The next day, he called me and asked to meet. The man told me that his landlord of 20 years was evicting him. They had decided to close the units and refurbish. This enabled them to evict the existing clients and increase monthly rent for the refurbished units. I told him I would talk to the Senior Citizens' Village administration in hopes of learning his legal options. Instead, the administrator told me a vacant unit was available right then. There is usually a 2-year waiting period to get an apartment but they decided to put my friend at the head of the line. We moved him in, and he has always been grateful for his treatment. His rent was lower, but the apartment was much larger. The Village had public transportation that helped get around town when needed.
Some more financial setbacks and home repairs put pressure on me to return to my career full-time. I felt it was time to start looking on a Friday, so I sent out several resumes through Indeed that night. On Monday, I was called by two firms for an interview. I met with a solar panel installer to see if I matched their need for an accounting manager. Their monthly closings were months behind. In addition, no one had developed a way to match revenue with its related costs. They had a rough idea of their yearly profit from the tax returns. I was hired to develop accurate monthly financial statements. It took three months to bring things up to date, but I was able to provide a regular monthly financial statement. The nature of the business was unique, and I had to develop several new processes to match expenses with related income. The quality of the financials steadily increased as I developed better methods to match expenses with the related revenue. My skills in Excel continued to develop. Whenever asked by an owner if something could be done, I always said "Yes". I then researched on the internet to see how I could do it. I know that some of my spreadsheets were revealed to me by the Lord. I would later look at a spreadsheet I had completed and then realize that I wasn’t that smart. Once, I needed a certain complicated Excel calculation that the usual formulas didn't do for me. I put the question out to the Excel professional community and got the answer from a guy in England. I worked for the company for two years. I believe I brought a new level of accounting competence to the company.
A few weeks into this new job, my new boss asked me in front of all the other accounting staff, “Do you really believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?” I said yes. She asked, “What evidence do you have?” I told her the Book of Mormon is the evidence of Joseph Smith’s prophetic calling. Several months later I had spoken in a sacrament meeting on a Sunday, and I felt prompted to tell my coworkers about my speaking assignment and the topic. I mentioned that I had spoken on the Second Coming of Christ, and a 30-minute discussion of what we believe began. I believe in sharing what I believe without being forceful.
At the end of 2021, the company began tremendous growth,, which came to me as increased workload. By April 2022 it reached the point where I simply couldn’t stay on top of it. I worked longer and harder, which actually made me less productive. In May I had an experience that later proved to be a stroke. I was suddenly unable to organize and manage the needs of the job. My sense of balance was off, and there were holes in my memory. I had appealed for more help, but they were unresponsive, so I announced my retirement. They found a successor, but she couldn’t start for several months. Because of my reduced capacity, I quit working daily. They had to limp along until she joined them. I agreed to be a tutor to bring my successor up to speed. I expected four weeks of training, but it took five months. And financial statements fell behind during this period. Full retirement finally came in November 2022. I have never been back. It’s not my game anymore, so why go see what’s changed?
Kathy’s mother, Pat, was a fantastic woman who stayed involved in many things until her 90’s. At 85, she was tap dancing. She was also a fishing legend in the Mammoth Mountain area. In her early 90’s her health deteriorated almost overnight. Kathy went to Lakewood to see her as often as she could. When Kathy retired, she committed to visiting her mom five days a month. She would leave early Thursday and return late Sunday. When her mother passed away, Kathy had only missed visiting the one month that I had COVID. This was a great period for Kathy. When Pat was still physically strong, they shopped, went to movies, and did fun things together. Pretty soon, Ron, Kathy’s brother, joined them in many activities. When Pat’s health further deteriorated, Kathy continued her visits, which included downtime with Ron. Kathy and Ron have both lived exemplary lives of service. But their different life directions kept them from having time together to become close. As Kathy and Ron spent time together, they began to know each other better and recognize each’s commitment to their faith. They became close friends.
In the middle of the COVID crisis, Kathy was called as ward Relief Society President. She was disappointed that this would pull her away from teaching the youth. This put her in charge of the well-being of all the women in the Gettysburg Ward. She was not expecting this. Bishop Cornelius was clear then that the Lord specifically wanted her to serve there. Until that time, Kathy wasn’t a big Relief Society fan and was irregular in attendance. She now had the charge to bring closeness to a group of women who couldn’t meet together because of COVID. She started an online Sunday video session for them since physical gatherings were prohibited. But she also focused on the idea that no sister should feel like an outsider (which she once felt). This especially became a theme once the sisters could meet again. She sought out her fellow "outsiders”. She started a theme of “send a little love,” with each person texting someone missing each week. Each person should either feel welcome when they come or feel missed when they don't. Many continue this practice today.
Kathy’s mother finally passed away in November 2021. Her burial plot is on a steep hill. Kathy and I had great difficulty climbing up to the seating area. As the various cousins acted as pallbearers, we looked at that slope, and had a real concern that someone would slip, and Nana and the boys would go sliding down the hill. It didn’t happen, but it certainly is an interesting mental picture. As an observer, I watched as Ron and Kathy worked on distributing their mom’s estate. The process was exemplary of how the process should take place. Ron was the executor. They each put great effort into being sure the other one got a fair distribution of the assets. They each were more concerned about the other than about themselves. It's too bad that this process often breaks up family relationships.
Our home is not in a "dream neighborhood" but a safe neighborhood. The home meets our needs well. We went shopping for a newer house but decided our present home and ward best suited us. We decided to prepare our house to last the rest of our lives. We had replaced the AC system. We had the complete plumbing replaced all the way to the street. We updated the interior with new flooring, paint, two updated bathrooms, kitchen countertops, and improved cabinet hardware. We replaced the roof. And we feel like the big-ticket items are repaired to last the rest of our days. I've created a smart home with smart lights, sprinklers, pond pump, etc. It's been fun and keeps my geeky self happy.
Over the years we have upgraded the house's energy systems. In 2004 and 2019 we added a total of 42 solar panels. This tremendously lowered the use of PG&E electricity. But as kids and grandkids moved in the usage increased dramatically. Our annual true up bill increased to $3,000. The $3,000 was difficult, but I also recognized that someday that would grow to $15,000 because of rate increases, while our annual retirement income would remain the same. In 2024 I started looking into more panels and batteries. I hooked up with a sales group that offered 11 more panels and 2 Tesla Powerwall 3 batteries. I financed the additions with the payments being nearly equal to the savings to be realized from the new equipment. And more would be saved with each future year as PG&E rates would increase. We decided to do it, with installation finished up on 12/31/24. As of this writing we have net see a summer yet. Our draw from PG&E has dropped, with panels providing electricity by day
At some point in the past, Ben gave Kathy a ukulele. She loved it and practiced. During our visit with him in 2018, we all went on a tour of various shops. We went into an art store when Ben told the owner, “This is my mother.” The owner turned around and went to the back office and brought out three ukuleles. And they had a jam session. In the years since she has practiced and gotten steadily better. As we traveled, she collected various ukuleles. Her involvement in the community band became more difficult. Eventually, the flute, which has been her favored instrument, was replaced by her ukuleles. Ben and Michelle married in 2019, and we attended physically along with over 100 Zoom viewers who couldn't gather because of COVID-19. Kathy and I visited Ben and Michelle again in July 2021. They had purchased a home in Lincoln City, Oregon. Ben and Michelle were great hosts and had a busy itinerary prepared. We watched whales, blew glass, visited parks, and rode antique trains. We had a great visit with two wonderful people.
After few days home from Ben's we both had COVID along with David, who was living with us. (We believe David's case was from work at the jail and ours from the plane ride home.) I slept around the clock for two days and then felt mostly better. Kathy’s case was difficult. She had difficulty breathing. Her energy disappeared. Her mind slowed. The effects of COVID lasted more than a year for her. During this time, she was released as RS president because she could no longer manage the demands. She had served well. She was then given the assignment to teach youth in Sunday School. Teaching is her first love in life and is her perfect place. She is happy there, hopefully for a long time.
Back in 2020, I began having some physical symptoms. In the beginning, I had cramps in my leg muscles. It steadily got worse. The cramps turned into constant pain. After the stroke, I lost my sense of balance and began falling frequently. Other symptoms gradually started showing up. Through a series of MRIs, they discovered back issues that cannot be surgically corrected. The pain will continue to grow. The stroke affected my balance and left me with some memory issues. I make do as well as I can. I have learned that being mad about the changes will not improve them, and anger will make me less happy with life. I have learned to adjust my lifestyle around my physical limitations. Eventually, I was unable to work on cars and sold my truck. I bought an older Jaguar but learned it requires too much maintenance for a guy who can't work on cars anymore. I have learned it is finally time to end my love affair with cars. (More later)
Kathy survived a difficult 2023. She had surgery for a melanoma removal covering a large area on her right arm. She went through a breast cancer scare that ended up testing negative. She got COVID again, but this one was much less than the previous case. And there were several medical procedures done that year where she faced some lifetime fears. But she faced them bravely.
We crossed our 50th anniversary in July 2023. We celebrated by staying for a week in Fort Bragg, California. We had a wonderful time. Fort Bragg is a long drive but a beautiful town. As we cross our anniversary each year, I realize I did it again. I love her so much more than ever before. I’m so grateful to be along for her journey. She has this way of ensuring that everyone she spots feels important and welcome. Kathy claims she took out a 50-year warranty on me. At our 50th anniversary, I passed the point of no return. She is stuck with me.
Since I was 13 I have been a car guy. Over the years, I have tried several times to build a car. I completely rewired three cars: a 49 Plymouth, a 51 Willys Sedan Delivery, and a 54 Kaiser. Starting in high school, I've had a 1955 Chevy, a 1967 Sunbeam, a 1948 Ford (mildly modified flathead V8 mill), a 1936 Ford (full race '48 Merc flathead V8 mill, 3 Stromberg 97 carburetors, magneto, Edelbrock heads & headers), a 1966 Volvo 544 (which looks like a baby '48 Ford sedan), a 1972 Datsun 240Z (many mods), a 1954 Kaiser (Chevy running gear, Dakota Digital dash), a 1956 Mercury Station Wagon (just flipped it after a few weeks), a 1950 Ford F1 pickup (Chevy engine), and a 1951 Willys Sedan Delivery (so, so much done to it). Several were almost completed when the progress stopped. Each build was cut short because of funds, health, or time. Each was finally sold uncompleted. In 2021, I owned a 2010 Tacoma, and I decided it was time for another car to be built. I went first-class in everything to make a truly unique truck. Soon after the build, it became obvious that I would not be able to climb in and out of the lifted Tacoma as my back deteriorated. I sold it to a guy who had recently finished up his own truck, but it was stolen. By getting mine, he could start again with an already-finished truck. Mine needed paint, but he has a cousin who paints. I came across an older Jaguar XJ8 in my search for a replacement. I have long been in love with the great body lines and race-bred suspensions of the XJ Jaguars. I decided I wanted one. It took a few weeks of online shopping, but I found a 1999 Jaguar XJR with 57,000 miles in Chicago. The owner was a collector who kept his cars in an air-conditioned garage at one of his car dealerships. Sadly, I soon learned that older Jaguars need too much maintenance for a guy who can't work on cars anymore. And it is too expensive to hire one of the two mechanics willing to work on it. I sold it on the Bring A Trailer website.
Kathy has an interest in cars now, probably a survival instinct. When the PT Cruisers came out, she quickly bought one because she liked the different look. It was later replaced by a newer one when her first one died in a car accident in which two of our family cars were totaled at the same time. They had a look that she liked, but they were underpowered and had awkward handling. After some searching, she bought a Mini Cooper. She loved it, but this one proved to be very unreliable. Our later studies show that this was Mini Cooper’s worst model for reliability. We finally sold it and replaced it with an upscale Honda Accord. For three years, she told me how boring an Accord was. (Especially a silver one.) I finally decided to look for another Mini and found a three-year-old in Arizona with only 7,000 miles on it. We bought it and I am finally forgiven for selling the first one. She loves it, and since she only drives 4,000 miles a year, she plans to have it for a long time. I am only allowed to drive it occasionally. That may have to do with the time I briefly traveled 110 MPH when driving to Morro Bay.
Life has become much more challenging than I expected. I thought retirement would include some car builds, and leadership in Church roles. As I have physically deteriorated I can now barely walk. I am in constant pain and can only sleep in 2-hour shifts because of the pain. And I am always afraid of falling because of my loss of balance. I have a fall about once a week. Typing is difficult because my hands never quite do what my mind tells them to do. (Probably stroke-related.) President Russell M. Nelson reminded me that my pain can point me to the Savior's pain. The pain I experience is sometimes excruciating. But I am only suffering pain for one person: me. The Savior experienced pain for billions of people while performing the atonement. I cannot comprehend that, but I am grateful He did it. My joy comes from gospel learning. My daily studies are essential and bring peace. I have a deep determination to stay focused on the future day I return to the Savior. Within my little circle of influence, I hope I can encourage others to look forward to returning to the Savior. And, of course, there is my wonderful relationship with Kathy. We love each other deeply. Back in 1973, I didn't know this kind of love existed. I hope to constantly reinforce to Kathy that she made the right decision in marrying me. And I remind her that the warranty is up. Don't be afraid when you hear us going after each other with banter. It is a part of our fun together. Kathy is also suffering a great deal of pain. At her best, she can work for two hours in the backyard, and she is done for the day...or week. I watch her as she makes dinner each night, and it is all she can get done until the pain catches up to her. She receives great joy from her weekly assignment in the temple. She loves helping people have a great experience there. She loves the Spirit of the Lord that she feels. At the entrance to the temple, there is a picture of Christ that causes her to feel like she is in His presence. And she often has conversations with Him right there. Kathy is a devoted teacher and loves her assignment to teach the eleven to thirteen-year-olds in Sunday School. She works with two other teachers who comprise "the dream team". They have different teaching styles, but each has the same objective of preparing youth for a faith-filled life.
I went through a difficult period in December 2024. I had been substituting as the teacher of the adult class in Sunday School for six months and had begun to thing I was just substituting because I wouldn't be a good permanent teacher. The pain of back, arthritis, and fibromyalgia caught up with me. And I was faced with finally giving up my car world. With my physical deterioration I can now do so little. All this summed up into a downward spiral on my part. I was headed into a very deep depression which for me has self destructive tones. I asked two close friends for a priesthood blessing and that ended to spiral into depression, but did not bring the peace back. I was up very early one morning to find peace. I studied the scriptures, and general conference. I prayed, and listened for answers. In a few minutes, I received a manifestation of God's love for me that completely enveloped me.
I have recently (Jan 2025) been assigned to teach the adults in Sunday School. I've thought about this quite a bit. I believe I would rather do this than anything else. I love teaching. We tend to collectively have an inferiority complex about our faith. We are never enough for God. I want to teach something different than that. God is our parent. God wants us to return to Him. Gaining eternal life with God is something we all can do. And He will help us. As I teacher, it is my goal to convince all my students that this is true. I just want to make ripples in my circle of influence.
In January 2025, Kathy got a new drone. We decided to go to the church parking lot to test it out. For some reason, I decided to go first even though it is her drone. Now, I have to say that my brain doesn't work with joysticks. It just doesn't become automatic to make the right move to get the drone to go where I want it to. Then when you throw in two joysticks I am hopeless. I got the drone off the ground and flew it directly into a fence by the building. At the time they were rebuilding the landscaping for the site, with trenches for plumbing and electrical. I went to the fence, got the drone, and fell back into the trench behind me. I was laying down in the trench wondering how I was going to get out of this. Kathy brought me a folding chair to help me climb out. It slipped on my first attempt so I was then laying down in the trench with the chair on top of me. I have to say that Kathy showed great restraint by not coming over with a shovel to put some dirt over me. I did make it out. When I got to the car I started laughing hysterically. When I got home I discovered that my entire foot was black and blue with a blood blister that covered my whole big toe. I punctured it and healed.
While we have some challenges, we have great faith in the Lord's ability to help us meet any challenge. With all the changes in recent years, we are learning to serve differently. One time, during a prayer, the prompting came to me: "Don't focus on what you can't do. Do what you can do more often." And that's where we are headed. I am deeply grateful to the Lord for His love, mercy, and blessings. The blessings always outweigh the challenges. He is merciful even when I'm weak or unwise. I would not dare to ask for more than I have been given. I am grateful. We are very blessed of the Lord.