I was less prepared for adult life than Kathy. It took time and experience to find my place. I made mistakes and criticized myself for years, but I've learned that mistakes are part of learning and should be released.
My dad, originally from England, grew up in Salt Lake City. His father lost everything after joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1906 and moved to Heber, Utah, and later Salt Lake City to support the family. My grandfather was a spiritual man whose experiences led him to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. My dad was expected to leave school after seventh grade to help support his family, but he had a strong desire to learn and a natural mechanical aptitude, taking college classes into his 70s. He honed his skills as a railroad mechanic and spent over thirty years at Stauffer Chemical, retiring as Maintenance Manager. He believed that when equipment failed, prayer guided him to visualize the problem and direct his employees on how to fix it. Known as "the magic wand man," he attributed this ability to divine guidance. After his retirement, he was replaced by a degreed engineer, and a second engineer was soon added due to the heavy workload.
I was spoiled. My dad, having grown up poor, wanted to spare me his hardships. In providing material comforts, he neglected to teach me the value of earning things and facing consequences. Although we weren't wealthy, I had no chores and received almost everything I wanted. My parents loved me and aimed to make life easy, but as I entered my confusing teenage years, I made many poor choices, and Dad often intervened to shield me from consequences. Decades later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which explained my tumultuous teen years. I remember little from before age 13, but I felt well-loved and generally happy, despite a few troubling events. Overall, I believe I had a happy, loving life before turning 13.
My dad set a strong example of how to treat a wife. Once, when my mom was scrubbing the kitchen floor, Dad said, "My queen will not do this kind of work," and finished it himself. Now, when I see something that needs attention, I remember that if I don’t handle it, Kathy will have to. I learned to treat my queen with respect.
Dad was always ready to help those in need. When an employee showed up intoxicated several times, Dad chose not to fire him but instead encouraged him to attend AA meetings, even taking him initially. The man stayed with Stauffer until Dad's retirement and often shared his story at our home. Dad served as a bishopric counselor for nearly 20 years before becoming the bishop of a singles ward at 73, serving for three years until Mom passed away.
At 13, I felt a "bipolar switch" flip, leading to confusion and fluctuating school grades. My priority was fitting in, and I often lacked the courage to stand up for what was right, pushing away those who wanted to help, especially my parents. I considered dropping out of high school. In math class, Dan Glasser, a former business owner turned teacher, became a pivotal figure in my life. He drove a VW bus with a Porsche 356 engine and invited me to his beachfront home for hamburgers and conversation. He listened, offered guidance, and convinced me of my potential. This changed everything; I finished high school and achieved high SAT scores. While others doubted me, Mr. Glasser simply said, “I knew it.”
At 13, my dad bought me a Ford 292 V8 to rebuild, sparking my passion for cars. I became a skilled mechanic, tuning vehicles for performance. I once rebuilt a friend's 1956 Chevy in exchange for a non-running 1936 Ford Coupe with a hot-rodded 1948 Mercury flathead V8. At 16, my dad bought me a fast 1955 Chevy, but I got a ticket for racing on my first night out. At 17, he traded it for a 1967 Sunbeam, hoping to slow me down. I couldn't drive it to school but was promised it would be mine after graduation.
My dad usually drove nice cars, like Cadillacs and Buicks, but in 1960, he bought a pink Rambler station wagon. I thought it would ruin my high school experience. Sometimes, I had to drive it to school, but I often chose to walk, hoping for a ride from a friend. Looking back, I see how trivial my concerns were. I survived the trauma, and now, anything goes when building a hot rod, even old Ramblers.
At 18, I received eight tickets in six months, including one for driving 115 mph in a 35-mph zone on a foggy night. The officer's emergency prevented my arrest, but I had to appear in court and surrender my driver's license for a year, after which my record would be sealed. During that year, I shifted from my "racer" friends to a group that used drugs and alcohol. I began using, which escalated after high school. One morning, after a night of drinking, I realized I was on the path to addiction. This scared me, and I have not used drugs or alcohol since.
As a high school senior, I had an accident while speeding in my Sunbeam, prompting my dad to lecture me about my recklessness. In anger, I left home and stayed with friends for three months, cutting off contact with my parents. One evening, a church youth leader came to find me. He took me to dinner, where we connected over our shared struggles. Encouraged by him, I returned home. Jerry Eynon, another church leader, then took a special interest in me, helping me explore life and spirituality. His guidance helped me establish lasting spiritual roots. Thank you, Jerry.
Shortly after graduation I was hired by George Chevrolet as a lot boy. My job was to keep the new and used car lots clean and customer ready, including washing all cars. I enjoyed being around cars and took care that the cars all showed well. We had a 427 Corvette in the showroom, with 3-2 barrel carburetors. It was rated back then at 435 horsepower. A customer wanted to take it for a test drive. The salesman came to me to get it ready for the drive, including warming it up on the freeway. That was fun!! With the tires we had back then it was nearly impossible to leave the intersection without chirping the tires. Our general sales manager was a tyrant. I reported to him. He was angry over something and told me very clearly that he wanted me to spend the day doing nothing but washing cars. While doing this a salesman asked me to get a car ready for a customer. I explained my instructions. The salesman insisted that my main job was to provide customer support. I finally did what the salesman wanted and the general manager saw me and fired me on the spot. I told the salesman other coworkers as I was leaving. They all went to the general manager and told him that if I leave they leave. I was rehired. I appreciated the support.
At 19, the "bipolar switch" turned off, and I prioritized being trusted by God over seeking acceptance. My full-time mission in Washington, D.C. deepened my faith as I taught the gospel of Jesus Christ and baptized seven individuals. This experience launched my adulthood, focused on spirituality and helping others. One of my favorite mission experiences took place in Westminster, Maryland, where we went door-to-door seeking those interested in our message. A young mother welcomed us in, and we shared Joseph Smith's first vision, which intrigued her. We planned to return the following week, and she later called to ask us to teach her husband. He was receptive, and by our next visit, he had already discarded his beer after learning that "Mormons don't drink." They were baptized weeks later, having sought something more fulfilling than their previous church. They also brought friends who were similarly dissatisfied, leading to more baptisms. I still keep in touch with this couple, who have remained faithful and told me that over fifty Church members came from my teachings.
I am thankful for the opportunity to serve and help others embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ. I appreciate President Edward Drury Jr. for his support during my adjustment to missionary life. I especially want to acknowledge my training companion, Tom Slack, who taught me the gospel and how to teach it. I completed my mission honorably and returned to build my life in Lakewood, California.
The Lord is always there for us. When we stray from His path, He will guide us back if we allow Him and send others to help. No one is too far gone to be reached. Everyone can transform into the person God intends them to be, as the opportunity for change is always present.