Our Story

We both came from strong family influences in the Church and community in Bellflower, California. We felt the need to leave the area to become our own family rather than be known as the sister or son of someone else. We chose to move to Utah. I went hunting in Salt Lake City. I went job hunting unsuccessfully for weeks. I decided to fast for a period to attune myself to God for guidance. I fasted for three days until I felt that my fast was accepted in God's eyes. I then ended the fast and got two job offers within two hours. I went to work at Salt Lake Hardware, where my grandfather had worked decades earlier. My search also took me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints headquarters, where I applied. There seemed to be no interest in me there, so I continued looking elsewhere. Later, I was called and interviewed for Church employment, but no offer came. The man making the decision on the position I eventually filled weighed all things carefully for weeks, and he moved slowly towards making an offer. But an offer was made. And this is where I really wanted to work. I began a nine-year career with the Church in the finance department. I took up the practice of stair climbing every day. I started on the ground floor, climbed to the 26th floor, and then descended to the 14th or 15th floor, where I worked. I did so slowly enough to prevent a sweat breakout. They didn't need a stinky accountant. 

The family soon followed me to Utah. We looked for a home and found an unfinished home being built in a development in Kaysville Utah. It took several months before the house was complete. It was a beautiful home on a lot and a half. The north lot had our home, and the half lot to the south became an orchard and garden. An extensive streetside parkway was planted with strawberries. While awaiting the completion of our house, we moved into a basement apartment in the home of the Farmington Chief of Police. He was kind to us, but his wife was very allergic, so no dogs were allowed. This was difficult. We were fresh in the area and knew no one to help with Scamper. Scamper's terrible living conditions changed her nature, so she was never the same sweet dog again. I still think of this as one of the heartbreaking moments of my life.

The Kaysville Ward that we moved into was HUGE. Many new housing developments had overwhelmed local leadership. If you didn’t get to church early, there wasn’t a seat for you, and you ended up standing in the back. I remember a man there who made a huge mistake that taught me a lesson that carried with me for life. His employment often took him to a site in Southern California. He started having lunch daily with a coworker there. They talked a lot. They became romantically involved. He then announced that he was leaving his Utah family to live with the Southern California woman. I had thought of him as a much better man than me. I knew that if he could be so foolish, so could I if I was not careful. You must always be alert to little things that can lead to big mistakes. 

Kathy became pregnant with Aaron. Pregnancies were difficult for her, but deliveries were easy. At about three months pregnant, she began hemorrhaging. We went to the emergency room, where we were told that the baby was lost. They proposed a D&C procedure. In the Church, men as priesthood holders often give blessings to the sick with consecrated oil. When I laid my hands on her head, I felt a strong prompting that the baby would be born healthy. I then thought about the circumstances and lost my courage to say this in the blessing. Shortly later, her obstetrician called the emergency room and told her that we should wait before deciding that the baby had been lost. He prescribed bed rest for three months. That was challenging with a busy 2-year-old Melissa at home. Aaron was born a very healthy baby. And I have remembered forever the lost chance to comfort Kathy with the blessing I should have given. Don't ask me where my head was, but I decided to rebuild the carburetor on our only car when Kathy was nine months pregnant. Of course, she went into labor while the car was down. She was sitting alongside the car, timing contractions. I called my neighbor across the street, and we got the car running. Then, we were on our way to the hospital. Hey, we got there. And I didn't have to deliver the baby.

Kathy once had an exciting experience with black ice and our pickup. She was driving to Ogden for a doctor's appointment when the truck's back end slid sideways. Kathy spun around several times and ended up in the weeds alongside the road. Everyone was healthy, and the truck was unhurt, so she continued to the doctor. I believe that was the last time she drove my pickup.

One time, when Kathy was outside gardening, three-year-old Melissa went into the house through the doggie door. We planned to entertain friends that evening, and Kathy had some strawberry pies in the fridge. Melissa pulled them out of the fridge, dropping them upside down on the floor. Melissa had also gotten into some cocoa powder and poured it on the furniture in the family room. The visitors that night commented on how they enjoyed the "chocolate smells” in our house. Melissa’s life sentence for her crimes was later pardoned, and she grew up to be a responsible adult.

I stated to Kathy that I would be willing to do any assignment in Church except for teaching in Primary (the children) and serving as a ward missionary. I was called to serve as a Primary teacher in two weeks. I had a great experience with lots of help from Kathy. A few years later, I was released to be called a ward missionary. I also had a great experience with this assignment and connected with some interesting people there. I'm sure someone in heaven was laughing as I received these assignments. But I also learned that I can't tell the Lord what I will and won't do. The Lord knows me better than I do and knows where I will succeed.

While teaching the children, I had one boy who was deliberately constantly disruptive. Nothing I tried seemed to help. Then Kathy and I had him over to our house for lunch. He enjoyed it, and we got to know him a bit better. Then we visited him at his home. A feeling of tension in the home clued me in that something was happening there that caused the errant behavior. But because of the lunch and the visit to his home, he took on the enforcer role. If someone became disruptive, they had to answer to him.

We wanted a house with more personality than our tract home had. We purchased a central Kaysville home that was built in 1907. Before closing our house, our realtor told us he needed a temporary loan to complete the sales chain. He promised to repay it when all the properties closed. We loaned him $6,000, but several of his business deals fell apart, and we never got repaid. I decided that I would never loan money again. If a friend needs the money and I have it, I will give it to him. If he has it someday, he can give it to someone else. I will never become a finance guru this way, but it keeps my friendships clean. I'm not recommending this for anyone else, it is just a strategy that works for me.

The house was a love/hate relationship. When we watch the HGTV programs where they tackle a very old home, we say, "They have no idea what's ahead." An older home such as this requires constant and expensive repairs and upgrades. The Victorian details were exquisite, but the work was non-stop. Utility bills were huge with its antiquated furnace, old windows, and 12’ ceilings. We kept the thermostat at 65 degrees for affordability. One December, we had a multi-state power blackout caused by lightning. Living in the old Victorian during the outage was really cold.  But the house was beautiful. If we had lived there until we had more money, we would have had a really nice home.

While living here, Kathy entered a writing contest with The Deseret News, a local newspaper. She wrote about her most remembered Christmas, which was when she received her first flute for Christmas at age 13. They performed that Christmas day at a care center for the elderly. She told of a bleak, sad setting there that became lively and happy because of the effects of the group's music. Her story was a contest winner and was published in the Deseret News, a Salt Lake City newspaper. 

Kathy was on her way to the doctor in Ogden. She left Melissa and Aaron on the back porch with instructions not to move until Kathy asked them to. Aaron escaped and ran behind the car when Kathy was backing it out. He bumped into the back of the car and fell when the car continued and backed over him. The doctor examined Aaron in Odgen. All was well.

I was called to the high council of our new stake. At 28, I was the youngster to be schooled by the masters. The high council is a unique opportunity to get to know church leaders well. Because of my access to technical computer equipment at work, I became a provider of statistics, charts, and graphs for our stake presidency. It gave them an opportunity to see trends by ward in attendance and other factors graphically. These tools are commonplace now, but my ability to produce them back then was unusual and helpful. I came away with an appreciation of the sincere love and concern the stake presidency has for the individual members of their stake. While serving on the high council, I visited different wards in the stake to carry on stake business and fulfill speaking assignments. Kathy was the chorister in our home ward. When I attended other wards, Kathy would have to leave the two children unsupervised in the congregation while she led the hymns. She returned to her seat, but the children were no longer there. As she looked around, she found that the ward had many adoptive grandparents who took them and held them during the meeting. I was assigned to visit various wards in the Kaysville North stake and I could walk to all of the buildings. We had only one car, which Kathy used to take the children to church.

As a high counselor, my assignment was missionary work for the stake. I met with the 70s Quorum in priesthood meetings. (Back then, there will still be members of the 70s quorum in the individual stakes.) Our own ward had four 70s. We became close friends. I remember one priesthood meeting in which the usual Sunday lesson started, and one member raised his hand and mentioned a problem he was having at home. The lesson was set aside, and the discussion centered around helping our quorum members. I went away thinking that this is how quorum lessons should be done. Missionary work was interesting in Kaysville. Our particular ward had ten people who were not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints within our ward boundaries. We could discuss each person individually. The discussions were about how we could help each person to feel a part of our community.

I found a unique carpool for my daily commute. We were all employees of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was with some very experienced leaders who had jobs that gave them unique knowledge. It was like traveling with the School of the Prophets each morning. I learned so much. One man was co-author of the Old Testament seminary manual used back then. He was an Old Testament and ancient Israel expert. He had many insights that I gleaned. My carpool group had some great discussions and became a close group. One morning, on the way to work, a friend who worked in Church International Operations mentioned that he was having difficulty finding a strong candidate for a financial manager opening in Samoa. I told him he could throw my name into the hat if he wanted to. A few days later, he called me into his office and offered me the Samoa position, which I accepted.