We both came from strong family influences in church and community in Bellflower. We felt the need to leave the area to become our own family rather than known as the sister or son of someone else. We chose to move to Utah. I went hunting in Salt Lake City. I looked unsuccessfully for weeks. I decided to fast for a period to attune myself with God for guidance. I fasted for three days until I had a feeling that my fast was accepted in God's eyes. Within two hours of ending the fast I had two job offers. I went to work at Salt Lake Hardware, where my grandfather had worked decades earlier. Earlier my search had taken me to the headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where I had also applied. There seemed to be no interest in me there so I continued looking elsewhere. Later, I was called and interviewed for Church employment but no offer came. The man making the decision on the position I eventually filled weighed all things carefully and he moved slowly towards making an offer. It took weeks after the interview but an offer came. I began a nine-year career with the Church in the finance department. I took up the practice of stair climbing every day. I started on the ground floor, climbed to the 26th floor, and then descended to the 14th floor where I worked. I did so slowly enough to prevent a sweat breakout. They didn't need a stinky accountant.
The family soon followed me to Utah. We looked for a home and found an unfinished home being built in a development in Kaysville. It took several months before the house was complete. It was a beautiful home on a lot and a half. The north lot had our home, the half lot to the south became an orchard and garden. An extensive streetside parkway was planted in strawberries. While awaiting the completion of our house, we moved into a basement apartment in the home of the Farmington Chief of Police. He was kind to us but his wife was very allergic so no dogs were allowed. This was difficult. We were fresh to the area and knew no one to help with Scamper. Scamper's living conditions changed her nature to the point that she was never the same sweet dog again. It still think of this as one of the heartbreak moments of my life.
The Kaysville Ward that we moved into was HUGE. Many new housing developments had overwhelmed local leadership. If you didn’t get to church early there wasn’t a seat for you and you ended up standing in back. I remember a man there who made a huge mistake that taught me a lesson that carried with me for life. His employment often took him to a site in Southern California. He started having lunch daily with a coworker there. They talked a lot. They became romantically involved. He then announced that he was leaving his Utah family to live with the Southern California woman. I had always thought of him as a much better man than me. I knew that if he could be so foolish so could I, if not careful. You must always be alert to little things that can lead to big mistakes.
Kathy became pregnant with Aaron. Pregnancies were difficult for her but deliveries easy. At about three months pregnant she began hemorrhaging. We went to the emergency room where we were told that the baby was lost. They proposed a D&C procedure. In the church, men as priesthood holders often give blessings to the sick with consecrated oil. When I laid my hands on her head, I felt a strong prompting that the baby would be born healthy. I then thought about the circumstances and lost my courage to say this in the blessing. Shortly later, her obstetrician called the emergency room and told her that we should wait before deciding that the baby had been lost. He prescribed bed rest for three months. That was challenging with a busy 2-year-old Melissa at home. Aaron was born a very healthy baby. And I have remembered forever the lost chance to comfort Kathy with the blessing I should have given. Don't ask me where my head was, but I decided to rebuild the carburetor on our only car when Kathy was nine months pregnant. Of course, she went into labor while the car was down. I called on my neighbor across the street and we got the car running and on our way to the hospital. She was sitting along side the car timing contractions. Hey, we got there. And I didn't have to deliver the baby.
Kathy had an exciting experience with black ice and our pickup once. She was driving to Ogden for a doctor appointment when the back end of the truck slid sideways. Kathy spun around several times and ended up in the weeds along side the road. Nothing hurt, so she continued to the doctor. I believe that is the last time she drove my pickup.
One time, when Kathy was outside gardening, three-year-old Melissa went into the house through the doggie door. We were entertaining friends that evening and Kathy had some strawberry pies in the fridge. Melissa pulled them out of the fridge, dropping them upside down on the floor. Melissa had also gotten into some cocoa powder and poured it on the furniture in the family room. The visitors that night commented on how they enjoyed the "chocolate smells” in our house. Melissa’s life sentence for her crimes was later pardoned and she grew up to be a responsible adult.
I made a statement that I would be willing to do any assignment in church except for teaching in Primary (the children) and serving as a ward missionary. In a few weeks, I was called to serve as a Primary teacher. I had a great experience with lots of help from Kathy. I was then released to be called as a ward missionary. There I also had a great experience with this assignment and connected with some interesting people. I'm sure someone in heaven was laughing as I received these assignments. But I also learned that I can't tell the Lord what I will and won't do. The Lord knows me better than I do and He knows where I will succeed.
While teaching the children, I had one boy who was deliberately constantly disruptive. Nothing I tried seemed to help. Then Kathy and I had him over to our house for lunch. He enjoyed it and we got to know him a bit better. Then we visited him at his home. There was a feeling of tension in the home that clued me in that something was happening there that caused the errant behavior. But because of the lunch and the visit to his home he actually took on the role of enforcer. If someone because disruptive they had to answer to him.
We wanted a house with more personality than tract homes had. We purchased a central Kaysville home that was built in 1907. Our realtor told us he needed a temporary loan to complete the chain of sales that took place when we closed on our house. He promised to repay it when all the properties closed. We loaned him $6,000 but several of his business deals fell apart and we never got repaid. I made the decision that I would never loan money again. If a friend needs the money and I have it I will give it to him. If he then has it someday then he can give it to someone else. I know I will never become a finance guru this way but it keeps my friendships clean. I'm not recommending this for anyone else, it is just a strategy that works for me.
The house was a love/hate relationship. When we watch the HGTV programs where they tackle a very old home we say, "They have no idea what's ahead." An older home such as this one requires constant and expensive repairs and needs expensive upgrades. The Victorian details were exquisite but the work was non-stop. And utility bills were huge with its antiquated furnace, old windows, and 12’ ceilings. We kept the thermostat at 65 degrees for affordability. One December we had a multi-state power blackout caused by lightening. Living in the old Victorian during the outage was really cold. But the house was beautiful. If we had lived there until we had a bit more money I think we would have had a really nice home.
While living here, Kathy entered a writing contest with a local newspaper. She wrote about her most remembered Christmas, which was when she received her first flute for Christmas at age 13. They performed that Christmas day at a care center for the elderly. She told of a bleak, sad setting there that became lively and happy because of the effects of the group's music. Her story was a contest winner, and was published in the Deseret News, a Salt Lake City newspaper.
Kathy was on her way to the doctor in Ogden. She left Melissa and Aaron in the back porch with instruction to not move until Kathy asks for them to. Aaron escaped and ran behind the car when Kathy was backing the car out. He bumped into the back of the car and fell when the car continued and backed over him. Kathy grabbed Aaron and had the doctor examine him in Odgen. All was well.
I was called to the high council of our new stake. At 28, I was by far the youngster to be schooled by the masters. The high council is a unique opportunity to get to know your church leaders well. Because of my access to technical computer equipment at work I became a provider of statistics, and charts and graphs for our stake presidency. It gave them an opportunity to graphically see trends by ward in attendance and other factors. These tools are commonplace now but my ability to produce them back then was unusual and helpful. I came away with an appreciation of the sincere love and concern the stake presidency has for the individual members of their stake. While I was serving on the high council, I visited different wards in the stake to carry on stake business and to fulfill speaking assignments. Kathy was the chorister in our home ward. When I was attending other wards, Kathy would have to leave the two children unsupervised in the congregation while she led the hymns. She would then return to her seat, but the children were no longer there. As she looked around, she found that the ward had many adoptive grandparents who took them and held them during the meeting. I was assigned to visit various wards in the Kaysville North stake and I could walk to all of the buildings. We had only one car which Kathy used to take the children to church.
I found a unique carpool for my daily commute. We were all employees of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was with some very experienced leaders with jobs that gave them unique knowledge and it was like traveling with the School of the Prophets each morning. I learned so much. One man was co-author of the Old Testament seminary manual used back then. He was an Old Testament and ancient Israel expert. He had many insights that I gleaned. My carpool group had some great discussions, and we became a close group. One morning on the way to work a friend who worked in Church international operations mentioned that he was having a difficult time finding a strong candidate for a financial manager opening in Samoa. I told him he could throw my name into the hat if he wanted to. A few days later he called me into his office and offered me the Samoa position, which I accepted.
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